- Can I become best friends with The
Head Ed?
- Is
anything going to be done about the problems in the Sock Matching
Division? It sounds like you guys really hurt their feelings.
Don't you feel sorry for them?
- Can we go to The Cooked Cereal
Division cafeteria for Lunch?
- Who is the guy in the lobby with the
baseball bat?
- What do you guys do in your spare
time?
- This is boring. My wife wants
to know if you can scan your butt...I think she got that idea from this guy
named Bart...
- Yes,
just one that's sort of technical. If you didn't have a monitor, would
you still be able to do stuff on your gizmo?
If you really want to,
you could probably become the ONLY friend of The Head Ed. Have you
ever met the guy? He is one of the most unpleasant people who ever walked
the face of this Good Earth. In fact, it's a wonder no one has ever done
him in. He likes no one, respects no one and nothing, would sell his
mother's soul if he knew where she lived (she's hiding) and has even done such
dastardly deeds as trying to blow up the system of escape tunnels behind The
Rock of Plaiges! Only the fact that he became aware of the fact that all
the Ghost Writers were partying in Cereal Valley among the flies on the
Experimental Farm prevented that from happening; he has vowed to try again if
the Ghost Writers ever come back. Now I have a question for you: do you
think anyone ever leaves the next line or does it bug people enough to make them
delete it? You can just think the answer and X will wave think it to
me--thanks, I thought so.
[This is the answer to the question.]
Did you used to work for
the White House press core? Of course we don't feel sorry for them.
Why do you think we hired them in the first place? We hired them so we
would have someone to make fun of and now look what you made me do--I have to
keep typing so the sentence doesn't end in a preposition (a sentence is allowed
to end with the word preposition!). Iff it is followed by a period. Uh-oh,
Mr. Spell Checker didn't study Math and doesn't know what iff means...I'll add
it to my dictionary, like they say to do in the tutorial. Just think if
your personal dictionary worked like shared borders on a web page so that if you
change it in your dictionary, Microsoft makes it get changed in all the
dictionaries in the Whole Wide World! Then you'd be able to go in and add,
say, "Bill" to the automatic spell corrector so that whenever somebody
typed "Bill", the words(s)(insert your own text here) would come out
instead. But I digress...
You can go there at
lunch time but be advised that they give new meaning to the expression
"Breakfast served all day"; don't expect to order up a seafood platter
or roast duck. The menu consists of two words. And be sure to get
there before those screwballs from the Sock Matching Division because they think
that just because they work right next to a faucet their hands are automatically
clean. They have this habit of trying to rearrange everything by size and shape
so if they set the places, one guy gets only forks, the next guy gets only bowls
and so on. Most of us just take our own spoon and sneak into the kitchen
to eat directly out of the kettle.
I should refer this
question up yonder but since you already wasted one click, I'll answer
you...That is W.B.'s Father-in-Law. I can't believe nobody knows that
story. He can't wait to get his hands on W.B. and that's why W.B. got this
whole Weebester thingamabob going. W.B. can't leave here and is going plum
cuckoo with cabin fever.
We here at Cereal
Publications don't put TIME into categories. There is TIME and there
is NOT TIME. If you are here to talk about it, that is TIME; if, on
the other hand, you are not here, there is NOT TIME. What you do in TIME
is just that--what you do. Is that clear? If it is, then maybe you
really should be The Head Ed's friend. I heard that one from him and it
sounded so good I memorized it. Like most things that sound good, I have
no idea what it means or if it really matters. I'm the kind of person who
eats when hungry and there happens to be food around. TIME is of no
consequence in such matters.
I'm tempted to say no,
but I suppose it would depend how flat the butt was and how big the scanner
was. Probably the best course of action would be to borrow your friend
Bart's Spy Camera and take a picture of your butt and then scan that...likewise
for other body parts. Any other technical questions?
Why
don't you try it. That sounds like it fits in the realm of the Quantum
Mechanics of Computer Science to me, but what do I know. While you're at
it, why don't you try doing it all without a keyboard too...and no
microphone--that would be cheating.
Ghost Writer# -.0001
Copyright © 1999 Cereal Publications. One or two rights reserved.
Sell by: April 15, 2001
. Be sure to use safe product handling instructions and wash your hands
frequently!
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